I remember the DVD now and I remember promising you something special. I can hardly wait to have you in me.’ Unfortunately, that would have to wait. The nurse and Toni practically ran into the room with Dr. Thompson not far behind them. Lizzie was taken for an EEG, leaving Toni and me alone in Lizzie’s room. For the first time in months there was an awkward silence between us. Toni broke it by reaching to me, taking my hand in hers. ‘This is what we’ve prayed for, Chuck.’ ‘I know. On the one hand I’m thrilled, but on the other I feel like part of me has died.’ ‘I know exactly how you feel. Part of me is dying, too. I remember what Lizzie said in my DVD, Chuck…what she’ll want you to do. I can’t say I blame her. I can barely go four days without you in me. What am I going to do now? Oh, Chuck!’ Toni collapsed in my arms. I held her tightly for almost half an hour until we heard a commotion in the hall. It was Lizzie talking and joking with the nurse and Dr. Thompson. She became. From the way I would lean over and duck down I'm sure she was well aware of what I was doing. I even was wishing she would wear a skirt so I got a better view. I discounted that desire because other people would get to see 'my girl's panties and I did not want that in any way.Sometimes she would have to use the bathroom at the park. I think I was only being protective when I took up station at the door and did not let anyone in until Jen came out. I even considered going in there with her but she wouldn't allow it. She said she needed her privacy now that she was getting older. I thought, 'yeah right, 11 and three quarters is older.' I guess I'll never understand women if I live to be a hundred.Three months later we turned twelve. I was getting more mature while she was getting more sophisticated. I dressed for comfort while she dressed to impress. She wanted to appear like a fashion plate and had to spend hours picking out just the right combination of clothes. Heaven forbid she.
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